Well, here we are. After an absolute mad dash of a first two rounds we have already arrived at our Sweet 16. The Round of 32 went by with a couple of massive surprises but mostly things went as expected. This is the first year since our fast food bracket that we enter the Sweet 16 with only one double digit seed making it this far. We lost our first 1 seed in a shocker and a couple of 3 seeds to what were probably underseeded jingles. I should really have a talk with whoever it is that is responsible for these seedings… whoever it is. We also had our first tie, which as always was broken by Mrs. Clumsy Optimist (she never votes unless there is a tie). I’m not completely stunned by the 16 jingles that have made it this far but some of the ones that have been dispatched are a little surprising.
The Regional Semifinals begins now and voting will end Sunday, March 26 at 5pm Central. Good luck with making up your mind on some of these. I’m for real at a complete loss at how to vote on a full 6 out of these 8 match-ups.
But first — Let’s get on to the results! Remember all “scores” are percentages from voting.
Round of 32
Restaurants Region
(1) McDonald’s – “I’m Lovin’ It” vs (8) Double Mint Gum – “Double Your Pleasure”
The McDonalds jingle is proof that a good advertisement’s jingle doesn’t need to be lengthy to be iconic. There’s only three actual words to the whole thing. Our 1 seed looked poised to make a run at the Championship but was taken down in the second round by upstart 8 seed Double Mint Gum’s “Double Your Pleasure” by a 58-42 final.
(2) Chili’s – “I Want My Baby Back” vs (7) Burger King: “Hold the Pickles, Hold the Lettuce…Have it Your Way”
2 seed “I Want My Baby Back” continued mowing down its competition, taking all but 1 vote from the OG Burger King jingle. Chili’s moves on to the Sweet 16 via a 96-4 victory.
(3) Mentos – “The Fresh Maker” vs (11) Subway – “Five Dollar Footlong”
Sometimes I feel like there is a fair bit of nostalgia that works its way into our voting and I was completely unsure how these two classics would work out. In the end, our 3 seed Mentos moves on after getting a hard fought 57-43 win over the Subway earworm.
(4) Meow Mix – “Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow” vs (12) Slinky – “Everyone Knows it’s Slinky”
12 seed Slinky took out 5 seed The Clapper in the first round so I thought there was a chance this could be a close match-up if not a full on upset. It was closer than the experts believed but 4 seed Meow Mix gets to the Regional Semifinal after a 67-33 win.
Companies Region
(1) Toys ‘R’ Us – “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up” vs (8) State Farm – “Like a Good Neighbor”
This 1 seed in Toys ‘R’ Us is on a tear so far in this tournament. 8 seed State Farm met the same fate as 16 seed Stanley Steemer, gathering only 1 vote. Toys ‘R’ Us moves on to the Sweet 16 after a 96-4 victory. They have given up a total of 2 votes through the first two rounds. Amazing.
(2) JG Wentworth – “8-7-7 Cash Now” vs (7) Wayfair – “Wayfair, You’ve Got Just What I Need”
Two nights ago I woke up at 2:30 in the morning with 2 seed, JG Wentworth’s “8-7-7 Cash Now”, fully stuck in my head. It’s such a great jingle. Y’all apparently think the same as they dispatched 7 seed Wayfair with ease, 79-21.
(3) Freecreditreport.com – “F-R-E-E, That Spells Free” vs (11) Nair – “Who Wears Short Shorts?”
That same night I also woke up at 4am with 3 seed, Freecreditreport.com’s “F-R-E-E, That Spells Free”, fully entrenched in my head. This bracket is breaking me. The 11 seed Nair’s “Who Wears Short Shorts”, however, cares not about what higher seed comes before them. Nair’s Cinderella run continues as they take down a second straight higher seed by a final of 79-21.
(4) Chia Pet – “Chi-chi-chi-Chia” vs (5) Farmers – “We Are Farmers”
These 4/5 match-ups in the second round can be some of the most fun. Theoretically the two squads should be equally matched. This one wasn’t super close but also not a full on runaway as the 4 seed Chia Pet gets to the next round after a 69-31 win over 5 seed Farmers.
Drinks Region
(1) Folgers – “The Best Part of Waking Up” vs (9) Fanta – “Wanta Fanta?”
1 seed Folgers got a little more push back than they did in the first round where they only gave up one vote. As it was they still moved on very easily, knocking out a very fun 9 seed “Wanta Fanta” by a final of 83-17.
(2) Huggies Pull-Ups- “I’m a Big Kid Now” vs (7) Ricola – “Ricolaaa!”
An exact replay happened in our 2/7 match-up. 2 seed Pull-Ups also only gave up one vote in this first round and moves on to the Sweet 16 after knocking off 7 seed Ricola by the same final of 83-17.
(3) Coca-Cola – “I’d Like To Teach the World To Sing” vs (6) Bud Light – “Real Men of Genius”
Absurdist beauty 6 seed “Real Men of Genius” continues it’s run via a 71-29 win over the 3 seed Coca-Cola’s 70s smash “I’d Like To Teach the World To Sing”.
(5) Band-Aid – “I am Stuck On Band-Aid Brand, ‘Cause Band-Aid’s Stuck On Me” vs (13) Dr Pepper – “Wouldn’t You Like to be a Pepper Too?”
13 seed Dr Pepper was hoping to continue their own Cinderella run but came up short as the 5 seed Band-Aid gets to the Regional Semi-final via a 71-29 win. This region was so weird. The two higher seeded match-ups ended in the same score as did the other two games.
Foods Region
(1) Kit Kat – “Give Me a Break” vs (8) Oscar Meyer – “My Bologna Has a First Name”
Oscar Meyer came into this tournament with two extraordinarily strong entries. “My Bologna Has a First Name” had an outside chance to run the table from the 8 seed. But their Cinderella story comes to an end at the hands of our first tie of the year. Mrs. Clumsy Optimist broke our 50-50 match-up in favor of the 1 seed “Give Me a Break”.
(2) Oscar Meyer – “I’d Love To Be An Oscar Meyer Weiner” vs (10) Rice Krispies – “Snap! Crackle! Pop! Rice Krispies!”
Oscar Meyer’s second jingle, the 2 seed “I’d Love To Be An Oscar Meyer Weiner” fared better knocking out surprisingly strong 10 seed Rice Krispies by a 63-37 final.
(3) Pepto – “Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion…” vs (11) Lucky Charms – “They’re Magically Delicious”
We love our Lucky Charms. They did very well in the Breakfast Foods Bracket making it all the way to the Final 4. Their jingle looked to make a run from the bottom half of the seeds but ran into a buzzsaw in 3 seed Pepto. “They’re Magically Delicious” put up a good fight but ultimately fell to the 3 seed 58-42.
(4) Spaghetti-O’s – “Uh-Oh! Spaghetti-O’s!” vs (5) Klondike Bar – “What Would You Do?”
Like I said earlier, these 4/5 match-ups can be a lot of fun. Our last game in the Round of 32 lived up to the hype as this one went back and forth and was never more than 3 votes one way or another when I checked. At close of voting, the 5 seed “What Would You Do?” pulls out a 2 vote win over 4 seed “Uh-Oh! Spaghetti-O’s!” by a final of 54-46.
That leaves us with our bracket looking like this:
Sweet 16
Restaurants Region
(2) Chili’s – “I Want My Baby Back” vs (3) Mentos – “The Fresh Maker”
(4) Meow Mix – “Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow” vs (8) Double Mint Gum – “Double Your Pleasure”
Companies Region
(1) Toys ‘R’ Us – “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up” vs (4) Chia Pet – “Chi-chi-chi-Chia”
(2) JG Wentworth – “8-7-7 Cash Now” vs (11) Nair – “Who Wears Short Shorts?”
Drinks Region
(1) Folgers – “The Best Part of Waking Up” vs (5) Band-Aid – “I am Stuck On Band-Aid Brand, ‘Cause Band-Aid’s Stuck On Me”
(2) Huggies Pull-Ups- “I’m a Big Kid Now” vs (6) Bud Light – “Real Men of Genius”
Foods Region
(1) Kit Kat – “Give Me a Break” vs (5) Klondike Bar – “What Would You Do?”
(2) Oscar Meyer – “I’d Love To Be An Oscar Meyer Weiner” vs (3) Pepto – “Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion…”
Alright everybody. Like I said, there are some absolutely impossible decisions to be made here. Good luck. Polls are open and will close on Sunday, March 26 at 5pm Central.
Let’s get to voting and see who makes the Regional Finals! See you guys on Monday with our Elite 8!
The Clumsy Optimist 
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