The first round is done! While it wasn’t as crazy as the first weekend of actual March Madness, there were still some major upsets. There were four match-ups that came down to one vote and four match-ups that ended in a 100-0 score. Thanks to everyone who voted! There were some shockingly tough decisions in the first round. A bunch of my favorites went up against each other right out of the gate and it definitely does not get any easier from here on out. The second round begins now and voting will end Wednesday March 21 at 5pm Central.
But first — Let’s get on to the results! Remember all “scores” are percentages from voting.
CEREALS REGION
1 Fruity Pebbles vs 16 Raisin Bran
Unlike UMBC taking down a 1 seed for the first time in history, the 16 seed Raisin Bran came up one vote short, falling to the 1 seed 52-48. This was way too close for my personal favorite.
8 Cheerios vs 9 Honey Nut Cheerios
The battle of Cheerios came out as expected with the 9 seed Honey Nut Cheerios knocking off the original 69-31. Nice.
5 Cocoa Puffs vs 12 Special K Red Berries
Cocoa Puffs took out my favorite “healthy” cereal as they beat Special K Red Berries by a score of 64-36.
4 Cap’n Crunch vs 13 Rice Krispies
Our first upset of the breakfast bracket comes as the 13 seed Rice Krispies (celebrating it’s 90th anniversary this year) knocked out the 4 seed Cap ‘n Crunch 64-36. This one was surprising to me in all the ways that make me glad to do this bracket every year.
6 Apple Jacks vs 11 Monster Cereals (Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Count Chocula)
This match-up is near and dear to my heart. I love both of these cereals and can’t wait for October every year to get me some Franken Berry. In our second match-up that came down to 1 vote, Apple Jacks moves on with a 54-46 victory.
3 Lucky Charms vs 14 Golden Grahams
Lucky Charms dispensed the delicious 14 seed Golden Grahams, winning in dominating fashion — our first 100-0 victory of the tournament.
7 Frosted Flakes vs 10 Life
A run away win for Frosted Flakes with a 75-25 win over Life. I guess only Mikey liked it.
2 Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs 15 Fruit Loops
The best cereal of my childhood moves on to the second round when 2 seed Cinnamon Toast Crunch put the beat-down on the 15 seed Fruit Loops 73-27.
PASTRIES REGION
1 Donuts – Glazed vs 16 Strudel
Glazed Donuts were denied a 100-0 opening round win by one vote. The final score was Donuts – 92 Strudel – 8.
8 Kolaches – Polish/Czech Style vs 9 Kolaches – Texas Style
The 9 seed Texas Style Kolaches beat their fruit and cream cheese flavored cousins by a final score of 82-18.
5 Donuts – Jelly vs 12 Éclair
The battle of delicious filled pastries was an upset as the 12 seed Éclair takes out the 5 seed Jelly Donuts 70-30.
4 Danishes vs 13 Empanadas
Danishes found a way to a win over Empanadas 64-36. It’s the right call.
6 Bear Claw vs 11 Cronuts
The newest addition to pastries region, the Cronut, put up a good fight, but ultimately fell to the Bear Claw 60-40.
3 Cinnamon Roll vs 14 Pecan Spinwheels
So I used to eat Pecan Spinwheels almost every day before school. They will always be a favorite treat of mine. They were unfortunately murdered by Cinnamon Rolls in our second 100-0 win of the tournament. RIP Spinwheels.
7 Pop Tarts vs 10 Muffins
I thought Pop Tarts had this one. I was mistaken. The 10 seeded Muffins pulled the minor upset, winning 73-27.
2 Donuts – Chocolate vs 15 Crêpes
In an upset I in no way saw coming and the biggest upset thus far, the 15 seeded Crêpes pulled off a miraculous 1 vote victory moving on with a 54-46 win.
OATS / BREADS REGION
1 Waffles vs 16 Banana Bread
Waffles had a much harder time with the 16 seed than I anticipated, beating Banana Bread by a score of 58-42.
8 English Muffins vs 9 Toast
Our final 1 vote victory was recorded by the 9 seed Toast over English Muffins, winning 56-44.
5 Biscuits (and gravy) vs 12 Oatmeal – Fruit Flavored
Probably the favorite to pull off a tournament victory from the 5 or higher seeds, Biscuits and Gravy knocked out the 12 seed Fruit Flavored Oatmeal 89-11.
4 French Toast vs 13 Energy/Grain Bars
French Toast easily knocked out the 13 seed Breakfast and Energy Bars 90-10.
6 Bagels vs 11 Grits
This makes me a bad Southerner, but I can’t stand Grits. I know, I know. And I am not apologetic about it. So I was pleased to see that Bagels kicked them to the curb 80-20.
3 Hash Browns vs 14 Croissant
Croissants are perfect bread. Everyone knows this. But they stood no chance against the 3 seed Hash Browns, who won 70-30.
7 Oatmeal – Maple & Brown Sugar vs 10 Oatmeal – Plain
Plain Oatmeal is gross. I said it. It appears you all agree with me as delicious, delicious Maple & Brown Sugar came out with the 3rd 100-0 win.
2 Pancakes vs 15 Coffee Cake
The 2 seed Pancakes are moving on after dubbing the 15 seed Coffee Cakes 90-10.
EGGS / MEATS / FRUIT REGION
1 Eggs – Fried vs 16 Hard Boiled Egg
Our final region got started off with the 1 seed Fried Eggs knocking out Hard Boiled Eggs 80-20.
8 Sausage Patties vs 9 Sausage Links
In the great breakfast argument of my household, I emerge victorious as the 8 seed Sausage Patties knock off their inferior Linked brethren 70-30.
5 Bacon vs 12 Eggs Benedict
Trendy pick to win the whole thing Bacon was given a run for it’s money, but came on late winning over the 12 seed Eggs Benedict 70-30.
4 Breakfast Tacos/Burritos vs 13 Fruit
Dark horse Breakfast Tacos/Burritos started off the tournament strong, knocking off 13 seed Fruit 91-9.
6 Canadian Bacon vs 11 Huevos Rancheros
The only 11 seed to win this year, Heuvos Rancheros beat the 6 seed Canadian Bacon 67-33.
3 Eggs – Scrambled vs 14 Quiche
Scrambled eggs had no problem dispatching the 14 seed Quiche 80-20.
7 Ham vs 10 Breakfast Sandwich
It was never a fair shake to have ham go up against Breakfast Sandwiches that may or may not have ham in them, but that’s the way the bracket shakes out sometimes. Ham was on the losing end of our 4th and final 100-0 match-up.
2 Omelet vs 15 Sausage Gravy
I wasn’t sure to even have Sausage Gravy in the tournament because I’m not positive if anyone eats just Sausage Gravy by itself. Well, it was the right call as the 15 seed gave our 2 seed Omelets all they could handle. Omelets move on the the second round by a final score of 60-40.
That leaves us with our bracket looking like this:
Round of 32
CEREALS REGION
1) Fruity Pebbles vs 9) Honey Nut Cheerios
5) Cocoa Puffs vs 13) Rice Krispies
3) Lucky Charms vs 6) Apple Jacks
2) Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs 7) Frosted Flakes
PASTRIES REGION
1) Glazed Donuts vs 9) Kolaches – Texas Style
3) Cinnamon Roll vs 6) Bear Claw
OATS / BREADS REGION
4) French Toast vs 5) Biscuits (and gravy)
2) Pancakes vs 7) Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal
EGGS / MEATS / FRUIT REGION
1) Fried Eggs vs 8) Sausage Patties
4) Breakfast Tacos/Burritos vs 5) Bacon
3) Scrambled Eggs vs 11) Huevos Rancheros
2) Omelet vs 10) Breakfast Sandwich
Alright everybody, let’s get to voting! See you guys on Thursday with our Sweet 16!
The Clumsy Optimist 
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